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From your partners in men’s ministry
A bimonthly e-mail letter from agency officers and staff
to leaders of United Methodist Men
August 14, 2014
Draw more with honey
By Bishop James E. Swanson, Sr.
Arnola Verna Triplett was her maiden name, and she was my mother.
She died when I was 18, and yet I remember many of her teachings.
One her favorite sayings was, "You can draw more with honey than you can with vinegar!" Out of all of her sayings this one has had the greatest influence on my ability to build relationships with others.
I interpret this to be her way of saying to me, "James, offer people a smile, a kind gesture, something good and attractive. Learn how to speak a kind word rather than a harsh criticism and you will attract friends."
She was also saying, "Help people see the good in themselves and the blessed side of life and you will see and encounter a more blessed person."
I've tried to follow her admonition. I've succeeded sometimes and other times I've failed. However, I still believe Momma was right.
Today, there are others who concur with my momma. The Heath brothers in their book Switch caution us that when we confront a problem or a challenge we are often guilty of over analyzing everything by concentrating on what's wrong rather than looking for what they call the "bright spots." In other words, we seldom––if ever––look for what is working well.
This is true of my life. I will preach a sermon and if there are 100 people present I can get 99 compliments and one person can give me a bad review. I can't sleep that night because I'm worried about the one negative comment, and can't celebrate the 99 great compliments.
Our beloved United Methodist Church is caught today in that quagmire. We spend the majority of our time talking about and analyzing what is wrong. Very little time is spent celebrating what God through the power of the Holy Spirit is doing in and through us.
We are afraid to even get excited about any great thing we do. Someone comes forward and makes a profession of faith and we spend time regretting that the worship went five minutes too long.
We have been declining in attendance for almost, 50 years and some great minds have figured out the reasons for the decline. But figuring how why hasn't stop the decline at all.
Knowing may not be enough.
What if we decided to quit worrying about the decline and began to look at all the "bright spots" that are shining around us each and every day?
What United Methodist Men––instead of trying to bring more men into our groups––started to tell our stories of "the honey" all around us? What might happen?
Negativity breeds negativity.
I would rather spend my time exalting the Christ who declared, "I've come that you may have life and have it more abundantly."
Pass me some honey.
Bring the light—be a guide
By Gil Hanke
I am a member of the Denominational Men's Ministry Leaders. Within that group I have made several very close friends. One is Doug Haugen, who has my position in the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America (ELCA).
I attended the ELCA national meeting here in Nashville and I led two workshops at the July event. My friend, the Rev. Steve Handy, senior pastor of McKendree UMC in Nashville, preached at one of the plenary sessions.
There are great ties between these two denominations, and we are looking forward to doing more together.
As I sat in the opening session, one of the tallest men I have ever met sat at a nearby table.
Just before the session began, a gentleman several tables away saw this man (we will call Ted); his face lit up like a spotlight. He greeted Ted warmly.
As the evening progressed, others followed the same pattern; they joyfully greeted him.
Ted is not a movie star; he is not a professional athlete; and he is not a great ELCA preacher. He is a man who has dedicated his life to men's ministry.
Ted is not interested in fame; he is not interested in many of the things that distract others from the main task of men's ministry. He is a person sold on bringing men to Christ.
When I first saw him, my thought was the obvious, "Holy cow, that guy is tall." But it was clear that when other men saw him, they saw a man that was a great mentor and a servant leader.
I asked Doug, "Tell me about Ted; why is he so loved?" Doug smiled, and related several stories about how Ted gets men to follow him into a closer relationship with Christ.
Near the end of the weekend, I spent some time with Ted. I told him what I had seen. Men change their posture and their facial expressions in his presence. Sure, they are glad to see all their friends from across the church, but Ted is different. He is a guide and he had been their guide.
Ted was humbled by what I had said––almost to the point of embarrassment. But he confided that nothing brought him greater joy than personally impacting a man's life for Christ.
When I grow up, I want to be like Ted.
Jesus tells us we are to be a light. Ted is a light reflector who guides men to Christ.
In a world where light is hard to find, where shadows of hate and conflict darken any chance of hope, we need to remember we are not to add to that despair. We are not to add to the darkness.
We are to be like a lighthouse that welcomes those in darkness into Christ's safe harbor.
Be a guide––bring the light of Christ to all.
Gil Hanke, general secretary
General Commission on United Methodist Men
GHanke@gcumm.org
It's time to fall forward
By Dan Ramsey
Well annual conferences are over and changes in pastoral leadership have been made in many local churches.
Two questions remain:
Have you made progress in sharing Christ with those you meet?
Have you taken advantage of opportunities to share what God has done in your life?
I confess that I have missed way too many opportunities to share the blessings God has provided.
God, please forgive me.
I pray that I will take advantage of future opportunities.
There are many in this world who need to hear what God has in store for them.
You and I must be willing to learn about the ministries of men at the local church level and we must provide information about ministry opportunities with which we have been blessed.
With fall coming in a couple of months, it is time to be accountable to God and each other.
Come on guys, I believe in you.
It is time to fall forward as we rely on the grace of God. It is time to encourage others to be doers of the word and not readers only.
Listen to Christ and thank God for the opportunities to make a difference in the lives of others.
We can do it.
Providing Strength for Service
By Larry Coppock
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)
The past few months have been poignant reminders of just how important Strength for Service to God and Country and Strength for Service to God and Community have become.
Recently, I attended the funeral of Major (ret.) Andrew M. Cianos, a highly decorated Green Beret.
I met Andy in 2013 while on vacation. His wife, Carolyn, had become a friend of my wife, Diane, through a church member.
Andy lived in Panama City, Fla., close to where we vacation. We had been asked to go by and see Andy. He had been diagnosed with lymphoma caused by Agent Orange, while serving in Vietnam.
He was just beginning to undergo chemotherapy.
Upon getting acquainted with Andy, I gave him a copy of
Strength for Service to God and Country. I related to him about the scouting connection to the book as well as its history dating back to World War II. Andy really appreciated this gift and our visit seemed to lift his spirits. We stayed connected through his continuous battle with cancer.
This year we visited Andy again; however, it was apparent he was not doing well. Just two short months later the Lord called him home. At his funeral I met his son and handed him a copy of the book. I mentioned to him that I had given one to his father and wanted him to have a copy.
While we do not always know the results of these book distributions we must trust in the Lord that we are doing His will in bringing comfort to His flock.
Andy is a precious reminder of how fragile and how short life is. I hope the book brought some measure of peace to Andy.
In July, L. W. Smith, chair of the SFS Task Force, and I, staffed an exhibit at the International Conference of Police Chaplains in his hometown of Columbia, S.C. We distributed 200 free copies of Strength for Service to God and Community.
By nature, police chaplains are a suspicious bunch, but they gladly accepted our gifts. Some returned to our booth and remarked how thankful they were to receive a book written specifically for them. Many asked how they could receive additional copies to distribute to their units.
Every day, life-and-death situations hover around first responders and military men and women. Some are our friends, like Andy Cianos––most we will never know. They all serve in high-risk jobs.
Both Strength for Service books serve as resources to reduce anxiety and bring comfort and inspiration to their lives.
Join the SFS team in providing a copy to someone on the front lines, a first responder, or even a veteran like Andy Cianos.
God will smile!
Larry Coppock, national director of scouting ministries and director of the Strength for Service Publication Fund
General Commission on United Methodist Men
LCoppock@gcumm.org
Gather, Grow and Go (G3)
By Jim Boesch
In June, I posed questions regarding the responsibility for discipleship.
Is it the responsibility of churches to disciple people? Or is it a man's charge to disciple?
My answers were "yes" and "yes" with each owning a 50 percent stake in this transformational journey of change and growth.
As God calls men into relationship with Him, the task of His Church is to equip the called and send them out to spread the Good News and make disciples.
I offer this G3 movement as the pathway for us to become more Christ-like in our homes, work, church and communities.
Gather
Every day they continued to gather together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Acts 2: 46-47
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.
Matthew 18:20
Simply attending a weekly worship service isn't enough. Too often the 20 minutes of inspiration witnessed from our best Sunday pulpit prophets are short-lived when slammed against the other 10,060 minutes of the week spent in secular cultures led by self-serving Pharisees who live lives of personal consumption.
Churches should create study opportunities and provide resources, but it is our responsibility to respond to the opportunities and utilize the resources.
In order to become effective change agents, we need to gather in small groups and Sunday study classes.
Grow
I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.
1 Corinthians 3:6-7
Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 3:18
As we gather using church-supported resources and pathways, we will grow in our faith, and we will assume servant-leadership roles in service to His kingdom.
To grow to maturity as disciples, we need to engage in personal and group study.
Our quiet time with God in prayer, reflection, study and confession must be supplemented by truth-seeking, loving relationships with others in disciplined group ministry environments.
This combination will equip us to become God-sent vessels for His discipling mission.
Go
Jesus told the eleven to "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Matthew 28 19-20
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Romans 12:2
After gathering and growing, as followers of and fishermen for Jesus, we have the responsibility to "go."
Jesus' commandment is to "go and make," not just to "become" disciples. To not go forth to influence others is to disobey the great commission.
As servant leaders of Christ, we need to get off our duffs––get out of the pews and the church campuses––to pour acts of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control into the lives of others.
One simple act on Earth can have eternal consequences when we take what we have learned from gatherings, when we grow in relationship with others and when we go forward witnessing to our faith for the glory of our creator God.
Equip yourself today to support your men's personal G3 discipling movement!
Jim Boesch, deployed staff member
General Commission on United Methodist Men
jboesch@gcumm.org
Jim facilitates equipping workshops for "Lead Like Jesus and Lead Your Family Like Jesus" servant leadership training; "Understanding Men's Ministry," discipling leadership training; and "Equipping Equippers" learning-facilitation training. You may host any of these workshops in your area by calling him (407-721-0416) or by e-mail.
But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,"
Acts 26:16
Vibrant and growing men's organizations have at their core a "reason-for-existing."
These groups have a compelling and worthwhile purpose that is easy to grasp.
Giving serious and thoughtful consideration to the type of organization you want to have will help you shape the purpose.
Ask yourself: "What is the desired outcome of my group?" "What impact or effect will it have on the local church, neighboring community and even the world?" "How will things be different if this group operates effectively?"
A meaningful and simply described purpose makes it easy to invite men to join you in this journey.
Man in the Mirror ministry describes men's needs this way:
1. Something to give their lives to––a cause
2. Someone to share it with––companions in the adventure
If you want to create a new group or invigorate your existing group here are practical steps to consider:
A bold vision
Establish an over-arching reason for this group to exist.
This grand vision must be much more than "to have good men's fellowship and support the church."
The vision should be something sought out through prayer and discernment. It should be worded to touch a man's soul.
It may be broad: "Servant Soldiers––Serving the hungry, the poor, and the needy to transform the community for Christ."
It may be more focused: "Teams for Recovery––serving communities affected by natural disasters though cleanup crews, short term housing construction and relocation moving services."
A slogan
Think about a small canvas to tell a big story. Your slogan should fit on a T-shirt and summarize your theme or "big idea."
Consider something like: "Men on Purpose," "Serving with Intent," "Brothers in the Great Adventure," or "Strengthening Men for the Journey."
Establish a unique slogan that characterizes what you are all about.
An invitation
Men are waiting all along the sidelines looking for meaning to their lives.
You might think, "Build and they will come."
Nope, that doesn't work.
You need to plan and execute an on-going outreach that invites men to check your group out. Plan activities that will reach men with a variety of interests.
As you invite men to your next activity, let them know there are also additional great upcoming activities in which they might be interested.
Man in the Mirror describes this as offering them "the right next step."
An invitation to participate is just a doorway or entry-point to a greater interaction and involvement.
Resources
No Man Left Behind by David Delk, Brett Clemmer and Patrick Morley.
"Understanding Ministry to Men" weekend course offered through the General Commission on UM Men.
Blessings,
The Rev. Mark Lubbock, deployed staff member
General Commission on United Methodist Men
mlubbock@gcumm.org
Effective ministry requires strong principles and firm boundaries
By Greg Arnold
If the godly compromise with the wicked, it is like polluting a fountain or muddying a spring.
–– Proverbs 25:25 (NLT)
Recently, my wife and I began attending a new Sunday morning class.
We are studying Boundaries by Henry Cloud.
In the few weeks, I've come to realize I'm not the only one with boundary problems. I'm a recovering "yes" person.
Over the last three years, I've been tenaciously cleaning up my boundary lines and repairing my principles.
This shift has wreaked havoc on a few people who were accustomed to crossing "my lines."
Be warned––establishing new boundaries and principles will bring about a few messy moments in your relationships.
Christians who want to fully execute the plan Christ has given us must establish clear principles and firm boundaries.
Principles
Imagine a winding canyon road with steep edges.
Principles are the guardrails placed along the edges of the roadway to protect us from falling if we lose control. Guardrails are cemented in place and––if they are well maintained––they can withstand immense amounts of abuse, pressure, and collisions. They are designed to hold strong when we lose control.
Our principles are the guardrails for living. These are the beliefs we hold and the way we choose to act and react in life. They provide guides for our decisions and provide evidence of our moral positions.
Be mindful, our principles, like guardrails, when left unattended, weaken with each collision. Guardrails can withstand only a certain amount of abuse before needing repair or replacement. Our faith in Christ, exercised daily, sets our principles in place and keeps them in good repair.
Boundaries
Revisit that image of the roadway. This time, take notice of the solid white stripes and double yellow lines. Those painted lines serve as guides, but do little more than remind us of the rules and standards.
Once painted, the purpose of the lines is understood. Laws and ordinances prompt us to honor their existence.
Disobeying the boundaries will not always result in catastrophe; however, repeatedly ignoring the boundaries will eventually result in damaging results to yourself or worse… others.
When we draw our boundaries according to Christ's instruction, we can better understand how Christian communities are designed to live and work together.
There will always be those who cross your double yellow, invade your lane, and cause you to swerve, change your course, or worse––wreck.
Be careful not to be the one who crosses the double yellow line, causing others to swerve.
Faith applications
A principled life keeps us from disappearing over the edge every time someone crosses our boundaries.
Boundaries exist to give us rules to live by and alert us of impending danger. A good set of boundaries keep our principles from being hammered and weakened from too many collisions.
To get the most out of your faith, make certain that your principles are based on the truths set in place by Almighty God––His Word through Christ––and maintained by the fruits of the Holy Spirit.
It is time to examine the boundary lines you have established in your ministry. Know your limits, weaknesses, and responsibilities. This will guide you toward a more reliable and fruitful walk of faith. Your pathway will become a lane for others to follow and your ministry efforts prove successful.
Look at the principles and boundaries established by Christ. Following His model is what faith looks like when executed on this earth.
Greg Arnold, deployed staff member
General Commission on United Methodist Men
greg@livebold.org
Note
During the last few weeks we have been doing some much needed construction and repairing within the GCUMM office. Part of that has been to replace the phone system, and during this time of construction there have been some disruptions in our phone and voice mail within our office. This was not anticipated and we regret if this inconvenienced you in any way. By the time you read this, all those repairs should be complete. - Gil
Note 2
We have discontinued the use of our PO Box 340006 mailing address; for any mail that does not contain a payment of any type please mail to 1000 17th Ave S, Nashville, TN 37212. If you are mailing in a payment for any ministry area of United Methodist Men, for security, we ask you to please use PO Box 440515, Nashville, TN 37244-0515 - this address sends the payments directly to the bank to our lockbox account. Thank you - GCUMM staff
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